The Girl Dreamer

Thursday, April 28, 2005

confusing and frustrating...

Confusing and frustrating... I guess these are the two words that can describe my life right now... Its all because of such problems that really make me worry... Im so damn tired and frustrated coz of all the heartaches and so many more hurts that I get... I guess, this is really what Im supposed to be, a confused, tired and frustrated girl all through out my life...But still, Im not giving up and Im willing to fight... Im going to face every challenge that will come my way to show God that Im strong, and I also believe that God is always with me and will not leave my side... With Him, I will be safe and I will be stronger than before... I can have presence of mind and I can be a tough girl coz I know that He is just there, somewhere around me, guiding me always, for me not to go astray... I will follow His commands and ignore the evil spirit that is tempting me... I know that I can do this, I just really have to give more time to God so that I can strengthen my faith and relationship with Him... I know that I can survive, just knowing that He is there, I know I can really pass through all these trials... Despite of all the problems that come my way, I am still thankful for my life coz I know that with this, I can still fix everything... Despite of all the tons and tons of hardship and sacrifices, I know that in the future, all of these things will just become a memory and I know that soon, I will succeed... I still have hope coz I know that I still have time to recover from all of these hurts that I got in my life right now... I can still improve and be a better person, be a stronger girl, and be a more faithful servant of the Lord... I can still change for the better and I know that soon, I will get to know myself better for me to be a fulfilled Christian... I know that despite of all the hurts that my family gave me, I believe that they will also be the one to help me in my life... They are the only one I can rely on in the darkest time of my life... Even though they hurt me most of the time, I still love them and I also believe that they also love me... I know that Its such a stupid thing to find the love of a family in other people, but that became my decision because I didnt feel their love for me that early, until now, Im still not fully convinced that they really love me that deep, thats why Im using other people in my life for me to feel the love that I want and I need I my life for me to grow... Of course, my family doesnt know about these things, but I believe that they dont have to know about these anymore, I know that they can improve as time goes by... I know that soon, they will realize these things... I still trust them even though they dont know how much they have hurt me... I can see that somehow, they care for me and as of now, its enough that they care... I treasure them despite of all the problems that they have given me coz still, they are my family and I cant do anything about that... With them hurting but at the same time, caring for me, there are still other better persons that I met that really helped me grow in love... They really loved me, cared for me, sacrificed for me and really treasured me even though we are not one family... Im really thankful that Ive met them coz they are the one who really helped me in this confusing and frustrating life... They are my friends and my so called family in school, Im not going to mention who they are anymore, but Im really thankful that God gave them to me and that they loved me for who I am... They accepted me and made me a part of their lives, ill never forget them forever... They are really of big help for me to still go on with my life despite of all the problems and hurts...

Thank you guys, for giving me strength and helping me survive my confusing and frustrating life... I salute you guys... I love you more than ever... You know who you are, friends, soul mates and my family in school especially my "ate"... you will always stay in me forever...

>>>seventeen
posted by tin17 at 6:50 PM

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