The Girl Dreamer
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
shocking changes
ok..first of all, IM CONFUSED!!!! confused with everything that's happening..huwat???? i dont know..i dont understand..a friend turned suitor????? a sister who used to be someone who's simply there, but now giving me all the compliments in the world and even asking me a very big favor that will surely make me happy???? whats happening..i think the world is going upside down..i dont know what decision to make..i dont know how to react...yeah..im happy and flattered with both events, but guess what?? im still more of confused and i am wondering why the hell they turned like that in just a snap!!!!
i know!!! i should be happy with all the things that are happening..i should be happy with all these wonderful changes..but why am i giving myself a hard time??? you know why??? coz i am not used to this kind of situation..i got very used to what we had before, but as things change, i get confused more and more..you cant blame me..im having mixed emotions right now..but hey, dont get me wrong, i am happy with whats happening..i am not complaining ok?! its just that i cant force myself to immediately accept everything - as in everything..and that i cant adjust right away..
i hope that soon enough, id be able to adjust and be able to accept things..i guess, im just too shocked and too surprised with two big changes..i hope id be able to recover and be back to my old self, soon..
PRAYER:
God, just please help me with all these changes..help me handle all these weird situations..help me accept all the possible changes that may occur soon..help me to be more open minded for me to be able to accept things..i pray that you'll guide me as i go through my journey..ill always have faith in you, God and ill forever remain your follower..Amen.
>>>seventeen
i know!!! i should be happy with all the things that are happening..i should be happy with all these wonderful changes..but why am i giving myself a hard time??? you know why??? coz i am not used to this kind of situation..i got very used to what we had before, but as things change, i get confused more and more..you cant blame me..im having mixed emotions right now..but hey, dont get me wrong, i am happy with whats happening..i am not complaining ok?! its just that i cant force myself to immediately accept everything - as in everything..and that i cant adjust right away..
i hope that soon enough, id be able to adjust and be able to accept things..i guess, im just too shocked and too surprised with two big changes..i hope id be able to recover and be back to my old self, soon..
PRAYER:
God, just please help me with all these changes..help me handle all these weird situations..help me accept all the possible changes that may occur soon..help me to be more open minded for me to be able to accept things..i pray that you'll guide me as i go through my journey..ill always have faith in you, God and ill forever remain your follower..Amen.
>>>seventeen
Thursday, January 10, 2008
mommy issues
hala naman..since nung bday nya nag iba na ang lahat..parang hindi na cya ang mommy na nakilala ko..d na cya sobrang sweet, di na cya masyado nagtetext..iniiwasan na nya ko sa YM..oh camon..d ko na alam gagawin ko..
tapos kahapon, nagkasalubong kami sa stairs, she saw kalals and she smiled but when she saw me, parang nagulat cya tapos bigla cyang napapikit at napalean sa wall..ano yun? somethings fishy..i dont know..bat ganun? d ko cya magets..mommyyyyyyyyyyyy...pero when i approached her naman, nagbeso lang kami and hug tapos wala na..d man lang kami nagkamustahan eh dba first time namin magkita kahapon since nag2008..eh bat parang wala lang cyang reaction??? labo..nahihirapan ako kakaisip..i think there's something that's bothering her..
tapos hindi pa cya nagrereact kahit minsan about dun sa gift ko sa kanya nung bday nya na nilagay ko yung mga thoughts ko..pati dun sa long letter na binigay ko sa kanya nung christmas about dun sa secret, wala pa rin cyang kahit simpleng reaction man lang..goodness..sana naman mag open up na cya sakin kasi nahihirapan ako na ako lang ung naglalabas ng emotions ko eh..gusto ko naman kahit papano malaman kung ano yung mga nararamdaman nya tungkol sa mga nangyayari samin ngaun lalo na ngaun na in few a months time, magkakahiwalay na kami..bat ngaun pa cya umiiwas, this is not the right time for her to ignore me..i need her now more than ever..NOWWWWWWWW!!! mommy, i need you now!!!
PRAYER:
papa GOD, i just want you to give me back the mommy i used to have..give us the time for us to be able to settle things and for us to be able to release what's inside of us..gawan nyo po kami ng moment wherein masasabi namin sa isat isa lahat ng mga nararamdaman namin para out in the open na lahat..nahihirapan na po kasi ako na nangangapa sa emotions nya eh..please GOD, help me please..amen..
>>>seventeen
tapos kahapon, nagkasalubong kami sa stairs, she saw kalals and she smiled but when she saw me, parang nagulat cya tapos bigla cyang napapikit at napalean sa wall..ano yun? somethings fishy..i dont know..bat ganun? d ko cya magets..mommyyyyyyyyyyyy...pero when i approached her naman, nagbeso lang kami and hug tapos wala na..d man lang kami nagkamustahan eh dba first time namin magkita kahapon since nag2008..eh bat parang wala lang cyang reaction??? labo..nahihirapan ako kakaisip..i think there's something that's bothering her..
tapos hindi pa cya nagrereact kahit minsan about dun sa gift ko sa kanya nung bday nya na nilagay ko yung mga thoughts ko..pati dun sa long letter na binigay ko sa kanya nung christmas about dun sa secret, wala pa rin cyang kahit simpleng reaction man lang..goodness..sana naman mag open up na cya sakin kasi nahihirapan ako na ako lang ung naglalabas ng emotions ko eh..gusto ko naman kahit papano malaman kung ano yung mga nararamdaman nya tungkol sa mga nangyayari samin ngaun lalo na ngaun na in few a months time, magkakahiwalay na kami..bat ngaun pa cya umiiwas, this is not the right time for her to ignore me..i need her now more than ever..NOWWWWWWWW!!! mommy, i need you now!!!
PRAYER:
papa GOD, i just want you to give me back the mommy i used to have..give us the time for us to be able to settle things and for us to be able to release what's inside of us..gawan nyo po kami ng moment wherein masasabi namin sa isat isa lahat ng mga nararamdaman namin para out in the open na lahat..nahihirapan na po kasi ako na nangangapa sa emotions nya eh..please GOD, help me please..amen..
>>>seventeen
