The Girl Dreamer

• blockmates
• professors
• schedule
• mode of transportation = BUS
• people in the bus
• surroundings
• schoolmates
• schoolworks
• bad internet connection
• family related problems
• other emotional thoughts/concerns
• MONEY
• TIME
• EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

what more if im on my second? third? fourth? fifth year? wouldnt that mean that it will even be worse when i get to higher level of education? who the hell invented education? isnt it just making ourlives stressful? isnt it just making things complicated?

i dont know..maybe im just being so negative about things because of all the stress and all the problems im having..

one worst thing in college = new people/ "friends" - what the hell!!! i dont even know who amongst my blockmates are my true friends..almost all of them are being involved in something that i dont like, some get into fights, cheating, gambling, smoking, "sexytime", cutting classes!!!! i mean, lets all be honest, this is not supposed to be like this!!! what the hell is happening to this generation???? i dont want to sound so mushy/cheezy/oh so sipsip trying to be a good student here..whatever you call that thing..im just trying to look into the future..seeing us, teenagers act this way NOW, there's a big chance of us being worse when we grow older..what then will happen to our world if that happens??? i dont want to be involved in those kind of things..i want to graduate with a good reputation for the sake of my future, of my family and for the name of my school as well..i want to prove everyone that la salle do bring up students properly and not the other way around..

professors, they just cant seem to understand things at times..it so hard to deal with some of them..especially when your prof is kind of old already and also for some gay perfectionist..it sucks!! they get so irritating and demanding..arghhhh!!! i wish that i can have my high school teachers as my college professors..that way, my life in college will be less tiring and less irritating..haaayy..

groupmates, schoolmates, schoolwroks, school stuff - there are just people who uber love to gossip that even for the time intended for the planning of a project or report, they still talk about other things..consequence is they dont know what happened to the report/presentation we made..they then are called to report for our group, they dont know anything, reported by just reading what's on the acetate, professor became pissed..what's next? THEY will RUDELY blame everything to us - that we did not allow them to help, that we're hugging all the work, that we did not let them participate, that we did not accept their ideas, that we did everything so it will look like we're the responsible ones..COME ON!!! OFCOURSE we wanted help, ofcourse we wanted their ideas, ofcourse we NEEDED their opinion..who would want to make a long report alone???? but HELL, what can we do???? we are just poor responsible students who doesnt want to have low grades thats why we did the report on our own because THEY WERE JUST THERE CHATTING AND TELLING STORIES/GOSSIPS..can we force them to participate if they dont want? isnt it that IF THEY REALLY WANT TO PARTICIPATE, THEY WILL IMMEDIATELY AND WILLINGFULLY GIVE HELP????? but that was not the freakin' case so they shouldnt be accusing us of something that we did not do or calling us something that we are not! stupid groupworks!!!!

MONEY MONEY MONEY!!! wth, money? for what? FOR EVERYTHING!!! photocopy this, photocopy that, you need this, you need that, pay this, pay that..nerve wrecking need of money..expensive food, bus fair hike, expensive clothes, EXPENSIVE EVERYTHING!!! waaahhh!!!!

addition to all the stress, PROBLEMS!!! when it comes to emotions, it can really be so difficult for me to handle..being someone who have had many emotional experiences in life, i thought id get tired of being so emotional once i get to college..i thought that id be so much focused with my school stuff that i wont have time thinking about those hurtful things..but i was wrong..there will always be times that you'd get to reminisce, backtrack, just randomly be emotional and miss the past and CRY..its getting tiring at times but i cant help it..im a crybaby..owel!!!

waaahhhh i dont want this anymore..i want comfort, security, relaxation, true friends, responsible acquaintances, better professors, less workload, etc..

I JUST WISH!!!!

PRAYER:

its all up to you Lord GOD!!!

>>>seventeen