The Girl Dreamer
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I'm So Lonely
Im So Lonely
I'm here, sitting in my chair,
I'm here, sitting in my chair,
No one is around, silence is everywhere.
No one to talk to, No one to lean on,
No one to care because everyone is gone.
Is there someone willing,
To sit with me and share his feelings?
Is there someone out there,
Who can be with me and care?
Is there someone who can love me,
Who can love me endlessly?
I'm so alone, I'm so lonely,
I hope there's someone who can make me happy.
Someone who will always be ready,
To lend his ears and listen to me.
Someone whom I can depend on,
And someone who can make my life go on.
Someone who can tell me,
That he'll be there and that he loves me.
Someone who can promise me,
That he will serve me endlessly.
Someone that can make me happy,
And will not hurt me.
Someone who will not leave me,
And will not make me lonely.
>>>seventeen
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
October 19...Haaaay!!!!
Today is October 19, 2004. And guess what, as expected, I had a very bad day..=( I predicted it..wehe..=) Dapat one year na, nawala pa..bwiset..well, that's how it is..you just have to accept the things that's happening. Siniraan pa ni "daddy" si "ate". Not really, pero ganun na din yun.=( Sobrang napapaisip tuloy ako ngayon. Oh well...=(
Love love love..you know what, it's so easy to love but it's very hard to move on if problems will come your way and you'll eventually break up..=( I thought that this is just an easy thing, but I was wrong, I was so wrong of thinking that way..Love isn't that easy. You still need your mind so that you can decide well about going into a relationship. It's hard but when you're there, you'll be so happy. But when you encounter problems, it's hard to fix things up and you can't really say that you're relationship will last for years. Haaaay..but you should always be ready before you get into a relationship and think of the possible things that will happen to you. You should also prepare yourself for many negative reactions from other people. But also, be ready to always have smile in your face because of some good comments from your friends. Love is like a journey. It's a challenge that you'll face in life and as long as you can, you should survive and stay strong.
Para sa akin, masarap na mahirap magmahal. Masarap dahil meron ko laging masasandalan at masasabihan ng mga problema. Meron kang matatawagan pag wala kang kausap. Meron kang mapagsasabihan ng iyong mga sikreto at higit sa lahat ay makakaramdam ka ng pagmamahal mula dun sa taong mahal mo rin. Mahirap kasi marami kayong dapat pagkasunduan. Mahirap kasi merong mga oras na kayo'y mag-aaway at paglumaon ay makakaramdam ka ng sobrang kalungkutan at sakit. Masasaktan ka lalo na pag dumating ang panahon na kailangan niyo nang maghiwalay dahil sa isang bagay. Pero isang magandang pangyayari sa iyong buhay ang makatagpo ng isang tao na magmamahal sayo. Pero sobrang sakit din pag nalaman mong wala na pala yun after ilang months or years.
Mahirap makahanap ng isang tao na magmamahal sayo ng tunay at ng lubusan. Karaniwan ito'y iyong matatagpuan sa iyong pagtanda dahil mas may isip na ang mga tao sa iyong paligid. Kailangan mo lang talagang magtiis at maging matiyaga para mahanap mo ang tamang tao para sayo. Yun bang mamahalin ka ng habang buhay at hindi ka iiwanan sa panahong kailangan mo sila. Kailangan mong magtiyaga dahil napakasarap naman pag nakita mo na ang taong yun. Sana makita ko na pero alam ko namang masyado pa kong bata para dun. Pero sana lang mayroon nang isang taong nakatadhana sa akin.
Magmahal nang tama at huwag agad agad susuko sa mga pagsubok na dadaan sa iyong buhay. Kayanin ito at siguradong may magandang idudulot ito sa iyong buhay. Laging iisipin na hindi lang basta basta ang pagmamahal, minsan ri'y kailangan mo ng utak para masolusyonan lahat ng ito. Mag-ingat din para hindi masaktan ng lubusan. Magtira ng pagmamahal sa sarili para hindi masyadong masaktan at maapektuhan ng mga mangyayari.
That's all for now..take care people..=) Good night po sa inyong lahat..mwah...=)
>>>seventeen
Love love love..you know what, it's so easy to love but it's very hard to move on if problems will come your way and you'll eventually break up..=( I thought that this is just an easy thing, but I was wrong, I was so wrong of thinking that way..Love isn't that easy. You still need your mind so that you can decide well about going into a relationship. It's hard but when you're there, you'll be so happy. But when you encounter problems, it's hard to fix things up and you can't really say that you're relationship will last for years. Haaaay..but you should always be ready before you get into a relationship and think of the possible things that will happen to you. You should also prepare yourself for many negative reactions from other people. But also, be ready to always have smile in your face because of some good comments from your friends. Love is like a journey. It's a challenge that you'll face in life and as long as you can, you should survive and stay strong.
Para sa akin, masarap na mahirap magmahal. Masarap dahil meron ko laging masasandalan at masasabihan ng mga problema. Meron kang matatawagan pag wala kang kausap. Meron kang mapagsasabihan ng iyong mga sikreto at higit sa lahat ay makakaramdam ka ng pagmamahal mula dun sa taong mahal mo rin. Mahirap kasi marami kayong dapat pagkasunduan. Mahirap kasi merong mga oras na kayo'y mag-aaway at paglumaon ay makakaramdam ka ng sobrang kalungkutan at sakit. Masasaktan ka lalo na pag dumating ang panahon na kailangan niyo nang maghiwalay dahil sa isang bagay. Pero isang magandang pangyayari sa iyong buhay ang makatagpo ng isang tao na magmamahal sayo. Pero sobrang sakit din pag nalaman mong wala na pala yun after ilang months or years.
Mahirap makahanap ng isang tao na magmamahal sayo ng tunay at ng lubusan. Karaniwan ito'y iyong matatagpuan sa iyong pagtanda dahil mas may isip na ang mga tao sa iyong paligid. Kailangan mo lang talagang magtiis at maging matiyaga para mahanap mo ang tamang tao para sayo. Yun bang mamahalin ka ng habang buhay at hindi ka iiwanan sa panahong kailangan mo sila. Kailangan mong magtiyaga dahil napakasarap naman pag nakita mo na ang taong yun. Sana makita ko na pero alam ko namang masyado pa kong bata para dun. Pero sana lang mayroon nang isang taong nakatadhana sa akin.
Magmahal nang tama at huwag agad agad susuko sa mga pagsubok na dadaan sa iyong buhay. Kayanin ito at siguradong may magandang idudulot ito sa iyong buhay. Laging iisipin na hindi lang basta basta ang pagmamahal, minsan ri'y kailangan mo ng utak para masolusyonan lahat ng ito. Mag-ingat din para hindi masaktan ng lubusan. Magtira ng pagmamahal sa sarili para hindi masyadong masaktan at maapektuhan ng mga mangyayari.
That's all for now..take care people..=) Good night po sa inyong lahat..mwah...=)
>>>seventeen
Monday, October 18, 2004
One Weird Day!!!
My day today wasn't so good. First subject was statistics and we had a quiz. I think that that's one reason that's why a had a very bad headache. It's really weird!!! But I think the main reason for that is because we had our T.H.E. next and when I was like taking away the basting from the fabric, I got very dizzy. It's like the world is rotating so fast. I just closed my eyes. I felt that I have a sickness but when my seatmate checked me, she told me that we have the same temperature. So I just didn't mind that and I just acted that I don't feel any pain. But as time passed by, my headache is being to obvious, I mean I really can't take it anymore. Good thing coz T.H.E. was over that time and we're going back to our classroom for A.P. I went to "daddy" to ask permission if I can go to the clinic and so the both of us stayed outside for him to check if I was ok. Then he told me things and asked me if I need someone to accompany me and I said no need coz I can go to the clinic myself. So I went to the clinic and they said that I just have to take medicine so I did. They checked my temperature and they said that I don't have fever so after that, I went back to the classroom. We didn't have anything to do for A.P. so I just rested. When it was already lunch time, we stayed for awhile infront of our classroom coz we were waiting for our friend. So I leaned to sab coz I was terribly dizzy that time. My "daddy" saw me and asked me again if I was really ok. I told him that I'm ok and he checked my neck if it was hot, he told me that I have a fever but I didn't mind. Anna told him that I have IDA that's why I feel so dizzy. It's also because I wasn't able to take my medicine early morning. Actually, I don't want him to know that I'm low blood, but Anna told him so what else can I do?!? He was like skocked or something but he didn't mind. Then after that, Science time was the dizziest time of my day. I hate it..Grrrrr!!!!!=(
So that was just my day. A very weird and dizzy day! I don't wanna feel dizzy again..arghhhh..=( Hope that that won't happen again. I hope that my days will be so much better than waht had happened today..Wish me luck..=)
>>>seventeen
So that was just my day. A very weird and dizzy day! I don't wanna feel dizzy again..arghhhh..=( Hope that that won't happen again. I hope that my days will be so much better than waht had happened today..Wish me luck..=)
>>>seventeen
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Nice Afternoon..=)
Haaaay! This day was kinda sweet.=) But my morning wasn't so good. I just didn't mind that and continued to be happy even if I'm not really happy deep inside. My heart says im sad but my mind says that im supposed to be happy. So I was happy but at the same time sad. Oh well, im being weird again.
Anyways, nothing really happened. I just became happy when it was club time onwards. Actually, I started to be really happy when it was science time there in our experiment lab. It's because of "daddy". Actually, the true and only reason of me being happy today is my "daddy". He really made me really very happy today! He talked to me when it was our lab period but it's just for awhile but he really treated me as her true daughter and I really appreciated that. It really made me happy. He touched my head and gave it a soft squeeze. Haha..laf3ps..=) But it really really really made me happy!=) Another is when he leaned on me like he's really my dad. That's another thing that made me happy. And last but not the least, he hugged me when it was time for us to go for dismissal. I really never expected that he would hug me because we're with many people but he didn't bother. I really really really loved that. It's just that I wasn't able to hug him because I was shy. Haha!!! But atleast, he hugged me as if I was really his daughter. I was really touched because of that.
Haaaaay, but as usual, at the same time, im sad because I didn't expect him to do that to me. I expected my "ate" to do that to me. It's about 2 weeks already since we last talked. Haaaay! Our communication is again getting out of reach. We don't text each other as in no text from her, even a single text wala. Haaaaay, but again, I have to think that it's for her own good also for me. I just wish that she's happy with her life right now. I just really can't accept it that "daddy" can do more things for me than "ate". Haaaaay, im so confused, im really really confused as in I really don't know what to do. I really don't know what decision to make. I love them both but I really have to know who's the one higher here in my heart but i really can't coz I can't decide because of my confusion.
Well, again, that's life and I have to accept it right?!? I just have to go with the flow and learn some lessons in life. I just really have to do my best to have the kind of life that I want..=) I have to work hard and have strong faith in God. I'm sure that He'll never leave me alone. And I also know that He'll help me in everything I do. That's all..goodbye for now.=)
>>>seventeen
Anyways, nothing really happened. I just became happy when it was club time onwards. Actually, I started to be really happy when it was science time there in our experiment lab. It's because of "daddy". Actually, the true and only reason of me being happy today is my "daddy". He really made me really very happy today! He talked to me when it was our lab period but it's just for awhile but he really treated me as her true daughter and I really appreciated that. It really made me happy. He touched my head and gave it a soft squeeze. Haha..laf3ps..=) But it really really really made me happy!=) Another is when he leaned on me like he's really my dad. That's another thing that made me happy. And last but not the least, he hugged me when it was time for us to go for dismissal. I really never expected that he would hug me because we're with many people but he didn't bother. I really really really loved that. It's just that I wasn't able to hug him because I was shy. Haha!!! But atleast, he hugged me as if I was really his daughter. I was really touched because of that.
Haaaaay, but as usual, at the same time, im sad because I didn't expect him to do that to me. I expected my "ate" to do that to me. It's about 2 weeks already since we last talked. Haaaay! Our communication is again getting out of reach. We don't text each other as in no text from her, even a single text wala. Haaaaay, but again, I have to think that it's for her own good also for me. I just wish that she's happy with her life right now. I just really can't accept it that "daddy" can do more things for me than "ate". Haaaaay, im so confused, im really really confused as in I really don't know what to do. I really don't know what decision to make. I love them both but I really have to know who's the one higher here in my heart but i really can't coz I can't decide because of my confusion.
Well, again, that's life and I have to accept it right?!? I just have to go with the flow and learn some lessons in life. I just really have to do my best to have the kind of life that I want..=) I have to work hard and have strong faith in God. I'm sure that He'll never leave me alone. And I also know that He'll help me in everything I do. That's all..goodbye for now.=)
>>>seventeen
Friday, October 08, 2004
Moments of Sadness
Haaay! My day today was again balanced! As usual, binuwiset ako ng isang tao. Feeling niya nagiging mabait siya sakin, nagkakamali siya. Ang feeling niya talaga. Ang lakas ng loob niya na tawagin sina *ano* na feeling eh siya rin pala ay isang feeling. Nakakainis talaga siya. Kala ko nung una, mabait siya as in mabait. Time went by at napatunayan ko na hindi pala. Hindi siya fair. Alam naman niya na madali akong mapagod at mahilo tapos pagbabawalan pa niya na maupo ako dun sa lockers. As if naman masisira yung lockers pag umupo ako dun. Bwiset talaga siya. Sinabi ko na sa kanya yun dati eh. Bingi yata kaya di niya narinig. Ano pa bang ineexpect ko eh lagi naman niya ko hindi pinapakinggan. Grrrrr!!! Kainis talaga siya..Panira ng araw. Di ko pa maiiwasan na di siya makita araw araw..Grrrrrr!!!! Bwiset talaga..Sabi pa niya mabait daw siya sakin..Feeling talaga yun..=( Isa pa na bad! Hindi ko nanaman nakausap si "ate". Wala na yatang pag asa na makausap ko yung taong yun eh! Kainis talaga ang buhay ko! Sana last na tong mga toh! Haaaay!!!
Buti pa talaga si "daddy". Araw araw na niya ko napapasaya ngayon. Through text, email, at usap. Astig talaga siya at maituturing mo talaga na totoo mong kamaganak. Haaaay! Sana yung gusto kong maging ganun eh maging ganun na. Hinawakan niya pa yung ulo ko kanina na para niya talaga akong tunay na anak! Haaay! I hope she's also like that! How I wish that she'll be like that to me! Kailan kaya yun mangyayari! At isa pa, masaya ako kasi kahit papano nagawa sakin ni Ms. Sabarre yung gusto kong gawin sakin ni "ate". Parang tinake muna niya yung role ni "ate" sa buhay ko habang di niya yun nagagawa sakin. Ang sarap ng feeling na may nagkecare sayo. At ipinadama yun sakin ni Ms. Sabarre! Buti pa siya, kahit di ko sinasabi sa kanya na lumipat na ko ng section at umalis na ko sa honors class eh alam niya. Samantalang yung pinakamamahal kong "ate" eh di pa ata alam kasi hindi talaga ata inaalam. Feeling ko tuloy na wala talaga siyang pakialam sakin! Ang sakit ng ganitong pakiramdam. Talagang yinakap ako kanina ni Ms. Sabarre, sa isip isip ko nung mga oras na yun, sana si "ate" nalang yun. Pero hindi eh, hindi talaga siya yun at kailangan ko yung tanggapin. Haaaaay! Buti pa si Ms. Sabarre, kinakamusta ako, yung grades ko, pakikitungo sakin ng mga taga honor sec at sa bago kong class. Ang sarap sana kung si "ate" yung nagtatanong nung mga yun sakin noh?!? Pero anong magagawa koh eh di talaga siya yun eh. I just have to accept it! Kailangan kong nalang tanggapin na di niya yun magawa sakin as of now! Sana nga as of now lang yun. Pero tumatagal na yung now na yun eh..baka naman forever na yun..wag naman sana! I still have hope na sana, someday..magawa niya sakin yung mga things na gusto kong gawin niya for me. Na maramdaman ko man lang na concerned siya sakin at mahal niya ko bilang isang, kahit kaibigan nalang. Yun lang naman ang hinihiling ko eh.. Mahirap ba yun????? Oh well, lagi naman ako ang dapat magparaya eh. Edi fine, magpaparaya na kung magpaparaya, kung yun ba ang misyon ko sa mundo edi gawin. Masaktan na kung masaktan, Ok lang basta para sa kanya. Haaaaay!!!!
Sana masaya na yung mga next days ko at sana talaga wala nang bad things na mangyari! Ayoko nang mahirapan at masaktan ng sobra sobra. Bawasan naman sana kahit konti, kahit konti lang! Please lang po. I need comfort and love from someone. Someone who will be always there for me to listen and to give his or her full attention to me. Sana kahit isang beses lang makinig siya sakin at huwag niyang ipakita sakin na nagmamadali siya. Yun bang maging willing siya to give her time to me kahit saglit lang. Kahit a minute lang. Please God, I trust you po, please never let me down. Please never let me give up. Please never let me forget her and just accept all the things that she's doing to me. Please let me be happy even though I have so many problems. I surrender everything to you Lord. Kayo na pong bahala sa kung ano pa man ang mangyayari sa buhay ko. =) Hanggang dito nalang muna..Goodbye!=)
>>>seventeen
Buti pa talaga si "daddy". Araw araw na niya ko napapasaya ngayon. Through text, email, at usap. Astig talaga siya at maituturing mo talaga na totoo mong kamaganak. Haaaay! Sana yung gusto kong maging ganun eh maging ganun na. Hinawakan niya pa yung ulo ko kanina na para niya talaga akong tunay na anak! Haaay! I hope she's also like that! How I wish that she'll be like that to me! Kailan kaya yun mangyayari! At isa pa, masaya ako kasi kahit papano nagawa sakin ni Ms. Sabarre yung gusto kong gawin sakin ni "ate". Parang tinake muna niya yung role ni "ate" sa buhay ko habang di niya yun nagagawa sakin. Ang sarap ng feeling na may nagkecare sayo. At ipinadama yun sakin ni Ms. Sabarre! Buti pa siya, kahit di ko sinasabi sa kanya na lumipat na ko ng section at umalis na ko sa honors class eh alam niya. Samantalang yung pinakamamahal kong "ate" eh di pa ata alam kasi hindi talaga ata inaalam. Feeling ko tuloy na wala talaga siyang pakialam sakin! Ang sakit ng ganitong pakiramdam. Talagang yinakap ako kanina ni Ms. Sabarre, sa isip isip ko nung mga oras na yun, sana si "ate" nalang yun. Pero hindi eh, hindi talaga siya yun at kailangan ko yung tanggapin. Haaaaay! Buti pa si Ms. Sabarre, kinakamusta ako, yung grades ko, pakikitungo sakin ng mga taga honor sec at sa bago kong class. Ang sarap sana kung si "ate" yung nagtatanong nung mga yun sakin noh?!? Pero anong magagawa koh eh di talaga siya yun eh. I just have to accept it! Kailangan kong nalang tanggapin na di niya yun magawa sakin as of now! Sana nga as of now lang yun. Pero tumatagal na yung now na yun eh..baka naman forever na yun..wag naman sana! I still have hope na sana, someday..magawa niya sakin yung mga things na gusto kong gawin niya for me. Na maramdaman ko man lang na concerned siya sakin at mahal niya ko bilang isang, kahit kaibigan nalang. Yun lang naman ang hinihiling ko eh.. Mahirap ba yun????? Oh well, lagi naman ako ang dapat magparaya eh. Edi fine, magpaparaya na kung magpaparaya, kung yun ba ang misyon ko sa mundo edi gawin. Masaktan na kung masaktan, Ok lang basta para sa kanya. Haaaaay!!!!
Sana masaya na yung mga next days ko at sana talaga wala nang bad things na mangyari! Ayoko nang mahirapan at masaktan ng sobra sobra. Bawasan naman sana kahit konti, kahit konti lang! Please lang po. I need comfort and love from someone. Someone who will be always there for me to listen and to give his or her full attention to me. Sana kahit isang beses lang makinig siya sakin at huwag niyang ipakita sakin na nagmamadali siya. Yun bang maging willing siya to give her time to me kahit saglit lang. Kahit a minute lang. Please God, I trust you po, please never let me down. Please never let me give up. Please never let me forget her and just accept all the things that she's doing to me. Please let me be happy even though I have so many problems. I surrender everything to you Lord. Kayo na pong bahala sa kung ano pa man ang mangyayari sa buhay ko. =) Hanggang dito nalang muna..Goodbye!=)
>>>seventeen
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Sweet Moments..Ordinary Day!
Today was just an ordinary day for me except that there were just sweet moments. Me and my "daddy" had a great time talking to each other today! He pinched my hands this morning..wehe..=) Then when it was already our AP time, when we were waiting outside, I joked him by covering the door knob for him to not be able to open the front door. Then, when he opened it, I just stayed outside coz I was waiting for sab. He also went out and grabbed my hande and he told me to go inside our classroom. So I went inside and there we talked about some things. I was also happy because he went with us when it was already our lunch time. We had a great time together in the canteen. Then when it was already our club time, we were again together. He seated beside me and we talked for sometime. He played with my nails coz it was long. Then, he also immitated some of my actions. It was really fun!
When I got home, I ate and then watched tv. After that, I turned on the computer and I used the internet. I immediately went to my email and checked it. When I opened it, I saw that he has an email for me so I read it. I was so happy because his email was so long. I didn't expect that he would reply to my email that fast and with that long message. I was so touched because of that.
The sad part of my day is when I saw my "ate" and I really did everything for her to see me, but still, dedma. Grrrr..how I wish that I will be able to talk to her soon and clear things up with her so that everything eill be alright. I hope the right time will soon come for us to have time to hang-out with each other and have fun. That was just my day!!!! til' next time..=) byebye!=)
>>>seventeen
When I got home, I ate and then watched tv. After that, I turned on the computer and I used the internet. I immediately went to my email and checked it. When I opened it, I saw that he has an email for me so I read it. I was so happy because his email was so long. I didn't expect that he would reply to my email that fast and with that long message. I was so touched because of that.
The sad part of my day is when I saw my "ate" and I really did everything for her to see me, but still, dedma. Grrrr..how I wish that I will be able to talk to her soon and clear things up with her so that everything eill be alright. I hope the right time will soon come for us to have time to hang-out with each other and have fun. That was just my day!!!! til' next time..=) byebye!=)
>>>seventeen
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Life isn't That Easy
After many days of happiness, still there comes sadness. I told you that life is balanced. Kung may nararamdaman ka na kasiyahan ngayon, expect sadness to come your way also. That's life and I have to face it. Lagi namang ganun eh. Kailangan ko nalang tanggapin lahat ng hirap ng buhay kahit na ayaw ko tong pagdaanan. Natatandaan ko tuloy ung sinabi ng mga tao na life isn't that easy. Pati rin yung sinabi ni sir sabilano na life is our journey to death. Kailangan ko nalang sigurong tanggapin toh lahat kasi alam ko naman na eventually, mamamatay din ako kahit tumagal pa ko sa mundong toh ng about a thousand years, still, I will die and that's for sure. At mga test lang toh sakin ni God para malaman niya kung madali ba kong susuko..pwes..lalaban ako..di ako agad susuko dahil alam kong may mga kahit konti lang na mga tao dito sa mundo na nagmamahal at nagpapahalaga sakin.I'm thanking all those people for always supporting me through my good times and bad times. Di siguro lalakas ang loob ko at susuko na siguro ako kung wala sila. Sana nga lang ay di nila ako iwanan sa ere. Sana patuloy nila akong tulungan, gabayan, suportahan, alalayan at samahan sa lahat ng mga events and things na mangyayari sa buhay ko. Sila ang buhay ko lalo na yung dalawang taong pinakamamahal ko. Sila ang nagpapalakas sakin..sila at ang mga kaibigan ko ang nagbibigay ng pag-asa sakin. Sila ang mga taong masasandalan ko tuwing may problema ako. Mahal ko silang lahat at sana'y di nila ako pabayaan at iwanan. Alam kong kaya ko toh..At kakayanin ko talaga para sa mga taong nagpapahalaga sakin. Para sa kanila kaya itinutuloy ko ang laban ng buhay. Sana nga lang ay alam ito ng kaisa-isang tao na pinahahalagahan ko ng sobra. Sana lang talaga alam niya at inaappreciate niya lahat ng ginagawa ko para sa kanya. Sana lang talaga..sana lang!!!!!!!! Oh well, I hope I can continue surviving! That's all for now..=I
>>>seventeen
>>>seventeen
Monday, October 04, 2004
Happy..its so nice to be HAPPY!!!
My day today was really very happy! I got to atleast talk for awhile with my "ate". I really missed her that's why when I saw her, she saw me also and then she reached out and hugged me that's why I was able to hug her also. I really didn't expect that thing to happen coz I was like "inis" with her nung morning. But my day turned out really fine. At first, nung nag hi ako kay "ate", she didn't notice me kaya i felt sad. Pero when we were inside the CPA already, their section seated with our batch. I was really shocked but at the same time, really very happy. There was a break time in the middle of the show. I used that time to go out and to go to the comfort room. When I was on my way out, I saw her and I said hi to her and she grabbed my hand and I was really happy during the time that she was holding my hand. Wala lang, dun ko lang kasi ulit nafeel yung love niya for me kaya yun..naging OA na ko.=) Then when we're gonna go back inside the CPA, I saw her again and that was the time that she hugged me. Then when she's gonna go already, I grabbed her hand and I didn't let her go for a minute then she hugged me again and kissed me also. I was really very happy that time. Namiss ko kasi talaga siya that's why im like this pati na rin yung mga times na ganun when I was still a 6th grader. wehe..=) Pasensya na po..=) Basta, sana from this day on, di na mawala ung communication namin and sana she'll see to it that we'll gonna be intouch with each others lives. Haaaay..iba talaga ang araw ko everytime im able to talk to her. Sana my days will always be this happy or even happier.=) Good luck nalang sakin para sa mga next days ng buhay ko..=) wish me luck everybody..=) byebye!=)
Friday, October 01, 2004
I'm Really Confused
My day today wasn't that happy. Nothing bad really happened but there's just something that's bothering me. I'm thinking about the two special someones in my life.=) They are like confusing me about their place here in my heart. I treat one of them as my "ate" and the other one as my "daddy". They are really very special and important to me. I'm just confused coz I love my "ate" more but my "daddy" loves me more. Grrrrrr! I hate this feeling. I want "ate" to love me more but what can I do if "daddy" loves me more than "ate" does. It happened siguro coz I now spend more time with "daddy". Pano ba naman kc, "ate" is so busy with her work. I can't even make kwento when I see her coz lagi siyang nagmamadali. Haaaay! I wish na magkaron siya ng time for me. Kahit anong pilit kong gawin, mas maraming nagagawa si "daddy" for me compared kay "ate". Si "ate" yung mas gusto ko kasi ako yung may favorite sa kanya, pero si "daddy", kaya niya siguro ginagawa lahat for me kasi ako yung favorite niya pero inaamin ko na favorite ko din siya pero "ate" first. I'm so touched everytime "daddy" does something for me na di ko ineexpect. He always talks to me, he always makes me smile, he always text me every weekend and he always makes time for me. Whenever my friend talks to him, he always talks about me..according to my friend. I'm really touched but I don't want my "ate" to be replaced here in my heart kasi siya yung nauna. Pero sobrang napapalapit na sakin si "daddy". Kaya tuloy lagi akong napapaisip tungkol dito. Siguro "ate" also loves me pero di lang niya mapakita or maexpress. Dahil nga siguro she doesn't have time to talk or to hang-out with me. Nasasaktan ako pag nararamdaman ko yun. Pero I have to accept it and understand that her work is important for her. Kaya nga rin siguro napapalapit sakin si "daddy". Kasi tuwing gusto ko makausap si "ate", si "daddy" yung dadating at nakikipag-usap sakin. Litong-lito na ko. Di ko kayang palitan si "ate" pero ayokong masaktan si "daddy". Anong gagawin ko?!? Im really confused! I want both of them to be happy sa step na gagawin ko pero wala akong maisip na step na gagawin para sumaya silang dalawa. Haaaaay buhay! Well, what can I do? That's life and I have to face it! Sana makaisip na ko ng paraan. =I
>>>seventeen
>>>seventeen
